THE LEGACY OF THE MYTH OF STRANGER DANGER

By WickedLizzie, a survivor of CSA, child abuse, neglect, and exploitation.

I was born in 1968. As a survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse who was groomed, molested and sexually assaulted on multiple occasions by my own male parent starting with grooming at a young age which enabled 4 of his male family members to also abuse and assault me, I can tell you that the whole "stranger danger" is a myth.

The campaign has been promoted through many public service announcements, books, and films, but it's a myth that can actually be more harmful than helpful. Stereotypes of who perpetrates are misleading, CSA happens in any demographic. My own parent was very adept at managing his public side to be the perfect, upstanding, moral family man while brutalizing his wife and children behind closed doors. You don't know what you don't know. CSA causes severe trauma. I cannot forget what I lived through.

It’s hard to fathom, but the greatest risk comes from within the sphere of assumed safety: members of the child's own family.

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children has reversed its stance on "stranger danger" because children do not have the same understanding of what a stranger is, which an adult typically has.

THE MYTH

The myth is the idea that all strangers are potentially dangerous. Unfortunately, the reality is, children are more likely to be sexually abused by someone they know, such as a trusted adult or older peer. Even parents abuse their own children. It can be anyone.

THE ORIGIN OF "STRANGER DANGER"

As media coverage of missing children increased during the 1980s the “stranger danger" myth was fueled by increased media coverage, emotional appeals from parents, and public awareness campaigns.

THE ALTERNATIVE

Rather than putting the focus on strangers, children should be taught to recognize when anyone is asking them to go with them or touching their body without consent or showing them inappropriate media, such as pictures, video, or written word such as erotica and sexting.

Teach children to:

- Recognize grooming behaviors, such as isolating a child from others or giving them special attention

- Have safe spaces to share or report abuse

- Know their bodies and boundaries, including proper names for their body parts

- Be able to identify who is a safe person, such as a police officer or security guar

- Trust their instincts and say no if they feel unsafe

- Tell a trusted adult if they feel unsafe

- Consider a password system. I did this with my own children. I let them pick out their own word so they would remember it.

- Ask who they will be with, where they will be, and when they will return home

- Know how to put parental controls on their devices

The Reality of the Statistics

*- 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse.

Self-report studies show that 20% of adult females and 5-10% of adult males recall a childhood sexual assault or sexual abuse incident.

*-During a one-year period in the U.S., 16% of youth ages 14 to 17 had been sexually victimized.

*-Over the course of their lifetime, 28% of U.S. youth ages 14 to 17 had been sexually victimized.

*-Children are most vulnerable to CSA between the ages of 7 and 13.

I experienced the first incident I can clearly recall at age 5 by a 16-year-old cousin right in his own bedroom with my parents and his downstairs.

*-According to a 2003 National Institute of Justice report, 3 out of 4 adolescents who have been sexually assaulted were victimized by someone they knew well

Source: https://victimsofcrime.org/child-sexual-abuse-statistics/